Unnoticed battlefield...

Closing my eyes, i utter a silent prayer to let me go through this examination successfully. I prepared day and night for this entrance exam to get seat for higher studies in best and top university in India. Its my dream to enter into campus in New Delhi. I only wish that it must not remain as dream which is the major reason for sitting in this examination for second time. But my  situation may not help me today. Its not just my mere  gut instinct, but my previous experience too.

Technically its my first day of period. I used to prepared for my periods but recently i failed to keep track on my periods due to studying at a stretch for the entrance examination. Yesterday I realized my period only after its arrival that to while stepping into train. It was late night and i felt uneasy after announcement of my scheduled train to depart from platform. As i was not prepared, i didn't  brought sanitary napkins with me. Neither of my friends too brought. Right then i cant go back to any shop and the the option i left with is to move forward so i stepped into train. I was totally lost in thoughts and fighting with my inner self on how dumb i was. I consoled myself and decided go get down in coming railway station to buy sanitary napkins. I searched details of train haltings and time so that i can buy and get into train as fast as i can. My search results gave me wise idea to wait for two hours till train reach Vijayawada railway station and my previous experiences told me that their was a medical shop in one of tha platforms. I sat carefully and waited for hours without moving an inch. It was around 12:30 am when we reach vijayawada railway station. I kept my full attention on announcement and get down to the platform and started my hunt. After walking with highest pace i can and searching, i found my tressure i.e., medical shop. I thanked god and brought pack of pads and for the first time since start of my journey i felt relaxed. Meanwhile i heard announcement which says that my train is about to leave and call from my friends. They too worried what if i may not catch train. So i get into train in the coach infront of me and reached my coach by walking through the coaches which is relaxed sign for my friends too. After wearing pad, i felt comfortable. I decided to sleep peacefully as lack of proper sleep can impact my examination. I slept in thick bedsheets provided by irctc for which i must thank heart fully. Train reached Hyderabad on time and we entered into waiting hall to fresh up. Early hours made everything easy  due to light traffic which help us to reach examination hall one and half n hour early in advance. Then we took breakfast as empty stomach will definitely cause heavy stomach pain which may hinder my concentration. We waited to enter as their were procedure of security checking and deposition of our belongings. After deposition of our bags, we were allowed in  with id card and hall ticket. I checked my hall number and took my seat. I took deep breath and sat here with closed eyes praying almighty.

 Hall is about to fill and i have 30 minutes to get question paper. I am feeling uncomfortable due to periods. I may need to change pad but i do not have one with me. What should i do now? I went to washroom in the corner of first floor. Washroom is quite neat but i have no pad to change. I hope this washroom should possess sanitary napkin vending machine but my hopes didn't find reality. I went back to hall and sat helpless. Should i ask any female invigilator for a pad? I don't have that opportunity too as two male invigilators were alloted to my hall. Only battling with my thoughts doesn't allow me to win the situation. So i kept calm to make my heart calm and meditated for a while till i was called to take OMR sheet. I took it and began to fill backside of OMR sheet with my details. I am fine now, concentration on breath made me concentrate on positivity even in odd situation like this. Exam is going well as i answer the questions by bubbling. But my flow of answering was hindered by dominated flow of vaginal blood with which pad was completely soaked. It started like ill feeling and grow to the level that i cant concentrate.  I felt both the ways like for a while time is moving like tortoise as half part of me want to hide in washroom and for a while time is moving fast like cyclone wind as half part of me want to win my dream. As if no ones wishes are important to it, time moved according to its will. It was a great struggle for me to hardly complete the question paper.

 I stayed in the hall even after completion of exam till everyone left the hall. One of my friends whose hall is just besides me saw me from window and asked me 'what wrong?' why do you look worried?!' ' I need to change..can you please bring me my bag to washroom?' my words are very low one could merely hear. She went amd came back for my rescue. As soon as i saw her, i rushed to reach ladies washroom. I took pad and newspaper from my bag and went into one of the washroom. I found water is about to halt. I saw the next washroom which witnessed the same. I collected water from all rooms which are filled one fourth to fulfill my requirement precisely basic requirement.

On traveling back to my hometown my thoughts traveling in its own direction unaware or fully aware of my exam result. People may think it is silly reason that is holding girls to reach heights. Some may tell periods is  natural process and girls must be acquainted with it to overcome. I do agree with such views but  each and every time girls face uneasy no matter how much they were acquainted with periods. On those days girls need few things to maintain hygiene and of course self respect too in the society where menstruation is taboo and stain is considered as sin. Access to only sanitary napkin will not serve our basic requirement but access to complete washroom is essential. A complete washroom is an women friendly washroom which is hidden battleground for the every girl for winning hygiene as well as self confidence. Every women should have access to women friendly washroom which is clean with proper water facilities and disposal facilities. Every educational institution and examination centers  should have sanitary napkin vending machine too as girls will not be allowed to carry anything but hall ticket and id card. A girl may be prepared by carrying her feminine hygiene divices as weapons with her but she cant carry washroom with her. Among a girl's battle that are happening within and out, weapons aid her but a proper battleground too hold its place in her success. Even though it is small issue, it do have its impact in menstrual hygiene management.

-Dasu Rama Sri Vineela...